Montana 9-1-1 Police Blotter

Christmas Eve Transients

__________

Thursday, 12/24/2009, 12:24 p.m.

Someone called to report that a transient might be living in a vacant building on East Idaho Street. No one was inside when authorities arrived.

Thursday, 12/24/2009, 1:22 p.m.

A transient refused to leave a business on Sleepy Hollow road, but was gone by the time a deputy arrived.

Thursday, 12/24/2009, 2:39 p.m.

A transient was seen digging through a dumpster at a local casino but fled when approached by the reporting party.

Thursday, 12/24/2009, 2:06 a.m.

An unwanted intoxicated transient pounded on the door of an apartment on Highway 35. Authorities encouraged him to move along.

Montana 9-1-1 Police Blotter

"Santa, are you there?"

__________

Friday, 12-18-2009, 5:59 a.m.
Someone on Solberg Drive heard an individual crunching in the snow outside their house, as if they were running away. Authorities found no footprints in the area.

Friday, 12-18-2009, 9:11 a.m.
A resident of Scenic Drive was alarmed to notice a vehicle's lights shining on a neighbor's property.

Friday, 12-18-2009, 12:31 p.m.
Someone on Good Medicine Drive received a strange phone call from an individual claiming to be from the fire department.

Friday, 12-18-2009, 10:38 p.m.
An intoxicated man stumbled down the middle of Highway 2 West, heedless of oncoming traffic.

Montana 9-1-1 Police Blotter

Checked your lug nuts lately?

__________

Friday, 11/6/2009, 7:39 a.m.

A resident of Brunner Road called to say one of his colts had died and that he would be taking it to the dump.

Friday, 11/6/2009, 1:38 p.m.

An individual from One Way Road reported that someone loosened all of their lug nuts on Halloween night.

Friday, 11/6/2009, 3:26 p.m.

A school bus rear-ended a truck in Somers after running a red light. No one was harmed in the crash.

Friday, 11/6/2009, 9:02 p.m.

An unattended vehicle near a local auto dealership had all four doors open.

Friday, 11/6/2009, 1:57 a.m.

A male subject stole one can of beer from an Evergreen grocery store.

Montana 9-1-1 Police Blotter

"What are we drinking tonight?"

__________

Wednesday, November 4, 2009, 8:52 a.m.
A man was assaulted by his girlfriend on Antelope Trail.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009, 5:42 p.m.
a 7-year-old child was missing for two minutes on Hilltop Avenue.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009, 9:45 p.m.
A 17-year-old argued with his parents and then went to bed.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009, 11:46 p.m.
A man with previous law enforcement involvement got drunk, stole a 1997 Honda Accord and then proceeded to tailgate and illegally pass a police officer. The man was jailed for stealing the car, driving without a valid driver's license, driving under the influence of alcohol and having an open bottle of Mike's Hard Lemonade in his cup holder.

Montana 9-1-1 Police Blotter

"Look out!...it's deer season and the guns are out."

__________

Monday, 9/26/2009, 3:08 p.m.
Several people were very upset when another party drove through their campsite on Big Creek Road. The reporting claims that they were also on the receiving end of gunfire.

Monday, 9/26/2009, 3:38 p.m.
Someone in Coram shot at a cat.

Monday, 9/26/2009, 3:59 p.m.
A resident of Big Mountain Road thought they heard two gunshots across the road from their home.

Monday, 9/26/2009, 5:25 p.m.
Though it appeared that someone was shooting at geese from a vehicle at a local golf course, they actually were not.

Monday, 9/26/2009, 9:10 p.m.
A man was approached by a woman with a gun when he stopped to take down a real-estate phone number.

Montana 9-1-1 Police Blotter

"Ever been guilty of sleeping suspiciously?"

__________

Thursday, 10/22/2009, 11:32 a.m.
A Whitefish resident was shocked to look out and see a man relieving himself in the ditch across from her home. The man has evidently been camping in the area.

Thursday, 10/22/2009, 3:23 p.m.
A local woman claims that her husband just married another woman in Florida. Upon further investigation, it was found that the man in fact had only one wife.

Thursday, 10/22/2009, 4:12 p.m.
A house was paint-balled in Columbia Falls.

Thursday, 10/22/2009, 5:57 p.m.
A woman was sleeping suspiciously in her car at an Evergreen park but left before authorities arrived.

Thursday, 10/22/2009, 7:08 p.m.
A mother kicked her 16-year-old daughter out of the car near Whitefish, apparently because she made a rude comment.

Leaving San Diego LIII

It was our group's night to provide food for dinner. We had decided on a Hawaiian theme. We decided on Hawaiian because none of us wanted to prepare food. Having Dominoes deliver pizza sounded much nicer than slaving over a stove for many hours. How many large pizzas does it take to feed 51 people? Evidently, not 17. We had 7 pizzas too many. I wanted to make sure there would be enough, and there was. I parcelled some out to the teens to snack on in the middle of the night, which I think they appreciated. I made up a list of Hawaii fun-facts to ask during dinner. Ques. #1. Which state is the widest state, east/west, in the union? Ans. Hawaii. The seven Hawaiian islands are spaced wider apart than any other state. Ques. #2. Which state grows its own coffee? Ans. Hawaii again. No other state in the union has the climate for it. Ques. #3. How many letters are contained in the Hawaiian alphabet? Ans. 11. Every letter in the Hawaiian alphabet is used, unlike English with all the silent letters. Ques. #4. Which state has the tallest mountain, from bottom to top? Ans. Hawaii once again. The Hawaiian Islands are all sea-mountains, with the big island being over 27,000 feet tall. Ques. #5. Does it ever snow in Hawaii? Ans. If you did not answer "yes", you really are not paying attention...on the tops of the mountains.

Montana 9-1-1 Police Blotter

"Wanna see what's in my suitcase?"

__________

Tuesday, 10/20/2009, 8:08 p.m.
An adult man and woman yelled at one another on Parliament Drive. Authorities convinced them to be quiet.

Tuesday, 10/20/2009, 8:50 p.m.
A man carrying a suitcase was seen walking up to cars and harassing customers at an Evergreen convenience store.

Tuesday, 10/20/2009, 9:25 p.m.
A man carrying a suitcase was bothering customers at an Evergreen grocery store.

Tuesday, 10/20/2009, 10:39 p.m.
A man carrying a suitcase was pestering patrons of a local casino.

Leaving San Diego LII

I tried my hand at fishing from the end of the dock, but had no luck. I then learned one of my little Grand-nephews, four years old, was catching them left and right. Maybe I do not have the patience for it. I continued enjoying my nights by the campfire. Brother David would play his guitar on occasion...nice to listen to. One day we had a "no-talent" show where everyone was invited to demonstrate some talent that might not be considered a regular talent in the real world. Sister Missy organized the whole show. I did something stupid with a couple of Grand-nieces...don't remember what. Many of the "no-talent" skits exhibited a surprising level of planning and true talent. I enjoyed them a great deal. Dad was given the responsibility of deciding on an overall "winner." He wisely chose brother Mike's Granddaughter who had sung a complicated song about several dogs. She knew all the words, and the song seemed to go on and on....all about some dogs she liked and had died. She was very happy to have been declared the winner, and suggested she had "other songs." I continued to enjoy slow cruises on the lake and good meals.

Montana 9-1-1 Police Blotter

"Hey Herb, do you see what I see?"

**********

Monday, 10/19/2009, 2:21 a.m.
A resident of Kelly Road in Kalispell claims that they saw a whitish-blue light hover in the northwest sky for about ten seconds before it disappeared. The reporting party, who had not been drinking, was directed to the National UFO Reporting Center.

Monday, 10/19/2009, 12:58 p.m.
Someone called from Wintercrest Drive to report that they were bitten by a dog three days ago.

Monday, 10/19/2009, 3:34 p.m.
Someone on Plantation Drive lost an item off the top of their vehicle. A neighbor then picked up the object and refused to give it back.

Monday, 10/19/2009, 3:25 p.m.
A 16-year-old female attempted to shoplift underpants from an Evergreen box store.

Monday, 10/19/2009, 10:13 p.m.
Five shots heard in Hungry Horse were intended to frighten a bear.

Leaving San Diego LI

When we were all together for dinner each day, I realized there were a bunch of us from only two Apples. I was getting accustomed to the noises in our small room at night. Bev snored loudly, but fortunately, I was a sound sleeper. Captain Joe McClure rented the houseboat and took us all around. I enjoyed the slow floats around the lake. I heard that someone had forgotten to check the fuel level later in the week and had run out of gas way out there in the middle of the nowhere. I enjoyed several late-night talks with others around the campfire. It seemed someone was always putting more logs on the fire, turning it into an eternal flame. One of the few electrical outlets in our cabin would not accept modern 3-pronged plugs, so there was always a shortage of outlets for laptops. Another outlet was broken and would not work at all. So I found the workshop and got permission to fix some things. I learned that the camp's owner had a stroke, and his wife performed most of the maintenance. I made myself useful and replaced the bad outlet in our cabin, and a bad lamp cord in another cabin. I also repaired a broken hand rail that someone had cut their hand on. If I had the time to spare, I think I could have landed a job there. But I didn't mind. I felt useful, and we had an extra outlet for our laptops in the Bird House. Did I mention the electrical breakers that kept tripping? Maybe I should stop here...

Montana 9-1-1 Police Blotter

Thursday, 10/15/2009, 1:58 p.m.
Someone wearing a white stocking cap rode his green and white dirt bike through several yards on Springcreek Drive, thoroughly disturbing the grass.

Thursday, 10/15/2009, 2:23 p.m.
Someone spotted a loose goat trotting down the north side of highway 2. It is unknown whether the goat returned home.

Thursday, 10/15/2009, 11:26 p.m.
A man and a woman argued loudly on East Oregon Street, much to the dismay to those living next door.

Thursday, 10/15/2009, 2:57 a.m.
A loose horse stood by the side of the road near Chapman Hill.

No Blog Tonight

(Watched the San Diego Chargers lose to the Denver Broncos.)

Montana 9-1-1 Police Blotter

"Need to return to the hospital?...you know what to dial."

Thursday, 10/15/2009, 2:19 p.m.
A seemingly depressed resident of Whitefish was actually perfectly fine.

Thursday, 10/15/2009, 2:39 p.m.
A dog on Valley View Drive killed one chicken last week and another chicken today.

Thursday, 10/15/2009, 3:47 p.m.
A very skinny horse on Tall Pine Ridge has not been neglected, but is in fact extremely old.

Thursday, 10/15/2009, 7:03 p.m.
Someone at a local convenience store apparently paid with a bad check and then tried to run over the attendant who ran out to stop him. After striking the attendant with the vehicle side mirror, the driver returned to pay with cash.

Thursday, 10/15/2009, 9:11 p.m.
A nearly-unintelligible man called from Ridgewood Drive, indicating that he had just gotten out of the hospital and needed to go back.

Leaving San Diego L

I think the kids were enjoying this family reunion more than anyone else. Our cabin seemed to be a favorite spot for breakfast. I didn't mind...it was a good time to learn their first names and which of my brothers or sisters they belonged to! I was quite impressed with a few of them. Everyone knew Debby's kids were fed only health food. Refined sugar was a bad word. I had great fun feeding them Oreo cookies and Reese's Peanut Butter Bars. I sat with one of Debby's boys and rubbed his head while talking to other adults. He soon dozed off to sleep. It was also fun watching the younger mothers running around counting their kids to see if they were all still around? I no longer had to do that. As a matter of fact, I did not have to do much of anything. I think that was what made it so relaxing. Instead, I wrestled with the little ankle-biters on the floor and pretended I was dying. Secretly, I was just looking for a place to rest. I spent many hours on the shuffleboard deck shoving the discs around. It was quite irritating watching one of the little ones knock my discs off with repeated accuracy. I was happy that he had a short attention span and would run off with his short friends at mid-game.

Montana 9-1-1 Police Blotter

Have you hugged your mom today?

**********

Wednesday, 10/14/2009, 9:42 a.m.
According to a concerned caller, someone in Evergreen has been hoarding a large number of pet rabbits at their residence. Authorities will be investigating the claim.

Wednesday, 10/14/2009, 10:55 a.m.
An inmate at the Flathead County Juvenile detention Center chose to write on a table, a practice that is forbidden at the center.

Wednesday, 10/14/2009, 1:30 p.m.
Someone on Highway 93 South wanted to know if she could still press charges on an individual who harassed her between 2003 and 2008.

Wednesday, 10/14/2009, 6:58 p.m.
A 14-year-old girl threatened to kill her mother on South Woodland Drive.

Leaving San Diego XLIX

Since Dad was the senior member of this Apple reunion, we all decided to give him the room with the double bed. The only price he had to pay was that the only pathway to the shower was through his room. I thought our Bird House was small, but heard from others that we had the "mansion." Brother David was proud to have a bathroom with the only urinal. He was so proud of it that we did not want to break the news that it was really a small, stainless steel hand basin. I don't want to say their bathroom was small, but you had to open the door to wipe. Since our shower was located in a hallway, I took clothes in to the shower to change into before coming out. I hung my jeans over the top edge of the shower cubicle and tried to block water spray by shielding them with my body. But it was fun to be with family again. This reminded me of growing up with an "outhouse" and no bathroom at all. We thought everyone bathed by washing up in the kitchen sink. Some other members of the family were due to arrive mid-week. Those of us already there were wagering how long some would stay in their rooms? Some thought the late arrivals would not stay that first night. I was betting on one night...just to show good faith. I'm not sure, but maybe the shower water draining underneath the bedroom carpet had something to do with it?

Montana 9-1-1 Police Blotter

"Got a misty room?...better call 9-1-1."

**********

Tuesday, 10/13/2009, 3:51 a.m.
The victim of another driver's road rage called to report that he had found the perpetrator's vehicle parked at an Evergreen business. The guilty party was not near the vehicle and could not be found.

Tuesday, 10/13/2009, 10:56 a.m.
Authorities helped a "man down" in Whitefish return to his feet.

Tuesday, 10/13/2009, 1:43 p.m.
A woman on Whitefish Stage Road could smell smoke in her home, and indicated that her living room was "misty." The smell and haze turned out to be from a blown fuse.

Tuesday, 10/13/2009, 7:39 p.m.
Employees of a local convenience store requested medical assistance for a 50-year-old man who may have been suffering from hypothermia. The man, who evidently had been drinking, was escorted to the hospital for care.

Leaving San Diego XLVIII

The drive went okay...eight hours. This would be the first Apple-family reunion in 30 years, which would last for one week. After only two calls, we received directions that took us around the lake, over the stream, through the bushes and to our destination...Bird House. Each house was decorated in its own distinctive theme, with ours being a bunch of old bird houses. The screened-in sun room contained several examples of various shapes and sizes. I was wondering if the birds using these houses were finished with them before they were gathered. We were among the first to arrive. The cabins sat on a hill above the lake. Our 10-foot-square room contained a bunk-bed squeezed against one wall with a single bed shoved against another. There was barely enough room to turn around once inside. My wife and I were to be in the bottom of the bunk bed with two other people in the other sleeping spaces. I was warned the rooms were going to be cozy... and they were. The bathroom was just off the kitchen. When sitting, my nose was almost pressed against the opposing wall. All wiping had to be accomplished with certain movements more appropriate for a gymnastics event. No one had said anything about the bathrooms also being cozy. We theorized the closeness would be conducive to good conversation...such as: "I never knew you had a mole in your left armpit?"

Montana 9-1-1 Police Blotter

Just another day on the range

**********

Thursday, 10/8/2009, 1:48 p.m.
Someone discovered several abandoned kittens at the intersection of highway 93 and highway 82.

Thursday, 10/8/2009, 3:08 p.m.
Someone called to report that a cat had been shot across from a Coram bar.

Thursday, 10/8/2009, 4:18 p.m.
A single horse wandered unattended on highway 209 before being sent home.

Thursday, 10/8/2009, 5:07 p.m.
A resident of Mountain View Drive called to report a vicious dog living in the area.

Thursday, 10/8/2009, 5:29 p.m.
Seven horses ran amok on Foothill Road. The horses were rounded up and escorted home.

Leaving San Diego XLVII

After leaving Mendota, Illinois in our Chevy Corsica rental, we were in for a long drive to a camp grounds north of Grand Rapids, Michigan for the Apple reunion. Upon entering the state highway, the left lane was filled with slow trucks for as far as I could see. I am not in the habit of getting in lines just because there is a line. That would be like raising your hand in church when you did not hear the question. Maybe all those truckers were on their way to Hell? I have heard some bad stories about that place, so I took the empty right lane. I finally came to road construction where I discovered the reason for the long line. One trucker pulled over to block me, while I wondered why he would do such a thing? He crowded me into an orange cone. The Highway Patrol officer got out of his car and pointed to the fallen cone while giving me an angry look. I squeezed between two trucks and eased through the logjam. It was at the next exit where I noticed a new sign informing motorists of the road construction and directed to use the left lane. There must have been a similar sign just before where we entered the state highway. Evidently, no one ever entered the state highway from Mendota, Illinois, and hence...no sign. I was hoping this was not a sign of things to come?

Montana 9-1-1 Police Blotter

"Hey, c'mon guys...close the window and pull the shades!"

**********

Friday, 10/9/2009, 8:33 a.m.
Someone felt highly suspicious of an individual who was inside a bank before anyone else arrived.

Friday, 10/9/2009, 8:51 a.m.
Residents of a house in Somers arrived home after an extended absence to find that several items had been stolen. The theft is believed to have occurred in July.

Friday, 10/9/2009, 4:09 p.m.
Someone on Hoffman Draw in Kalispell became worried when a neighbor had not been seen for several days. The man in question was found to be staying with his son.

Friday, 10/9/2009, 8:00 p.m.
A husband and wife argued on Ridgewood Drive.

Leaving San Diego XLVI

I figured I should take a photo of Becky with the new grill I assembled for her. She once loaned me money to replace tools that were stolen from my workplace. So I am always happy to assemble a grill for Becky. She needed to take a trip to downtown Chicago today, so we were on our own. I watched some TV, but was soon enthralled with the movings of the tortoise. The tortoise was never content to remain in his (her?) box. I kept placing obstacles in its path to prevent it from escaping it's Bloomingdales shoe box. Its never-ceasing movements became annoying after a while. It was like watching a mouse trying to escape from an empty oil drum. I finally decided to place the box up high, on top of the cabinet that held the TV, figuring the turtle had a good animal-sense about heights...WRONG. This turtle, or tortoise must have had a depth-perception problem as I heard a loud...THUD. It had tipped its box and fallen 6 feet to the carpet. I hurriedly picked it up and examined for damage. Everything seemed to be moving okay, so I gave up and placed it back on the floor. The last I noticed, it was headed for the closet. We leave tomorrow. As far as I am concerned, it is a free-range tortoise.

Montana 9-1-1 Police Blotter

"I'm gonna be dispatched?...cool."

**********

Friday, 10/9/2009, 8:37 a.m.
A child on Jellison Road doodled on cars with a felt marker. The same child is known to have caused several broken windows earlier in the summer.

Friday, 10/9/2009, 11:08 a.m.
A resident of Lake Five Road became irritated when someone tossed a lit cigarette in their yard.

Friday, 10/9/2009, 12:13 p.m.
The local fire department helped remove a claustrophobic woman from a stuck elevator at a senior citizens' apartment complex.

Friday, 10/9/2009, 9:44 p.m.
A small injured bull moose was dispatched and sent to the food bank.

Leaving San Diego

Becky's grill is all assembled. Notice, that is not a spatula, but Channelocks?

Leaving San Diego XLV

We shared lunch at Izzy's again. My burger was fine. I enjoy eating dead cow...as long as I never knew the cow in a personal way. We sat in the livingroom listening to Lee share his life-story while dressed in his blue-and-brown, flannel, Teddy Bear bathrobe. He looked very comfortable. But I lost interest after the part of repeating fourth grade due to a reading problem. We headed back to Becky and Tom's place. I found the toll booths rather confusing along the way....something about an "I-pass" that I apparently did not have. Becky had to get on the computer and pay the $2.05 I owed the state of Illinois. She would not accept any money, so I cleaned her gutters instead. She had some cute maple tree saplings growing up there. I also assembled their new grill...not an easy task. It weighed a ton as she and I attempted to carry the box to the house. I had better luck rolling the square box, end-over-end to the livingroom. If I was a true Egyptian, I would have found a couple of logs to roll the thing on. The note on the box said, "Assembles in minutes." And they were right. It took 240 minutes.

Montana 9-1-1 Police Blotter

It was all about fire...and firearms

**********

Wednesday, 10/7/2009, 1:30 p.m.
Someone on Lower Valley Road was burning an illegal fire. The guilty party extinguished the flames.

Wednesday, 10/7/2009, 5:28 p.m.
A log smoldered on Blacktail Road. Fire professionals responded and doused several remnants of recent fire activity.

Wednesday, 10/7/2008, 7:29 p.m.
Someone spotted flames erupting from a chimney in Whitefish. Authorities responded to find no fire in said chimney.

Wednesday, 10/7/2009, 10:45 p.m.
Someone arrived at their Conrad Drive home to find a window open and a firearm missing from the residence.

Leaving San Diego XLIV

We were soon at Starved Rock State Park, along the banks of the Illinois River. Across the river could be seen a sheer rock face about 150 feet high. Lee approached it from several angles so we would not miss anything. As the story is told, a group of American Indians were once chased to the top of this high rock wall where they starved to death. I wondered if yesterday's concrete statue was to atone for starving the Indians here? We explored the park only minimally before heading back. There was a lot of mud from recent rains. Upon pulling into the garage, I noticed the car's trip odometer registered 55.9 miles. Lee's estimate was off by only one-tenth of a mile. I was hoping one last nudge on the bumper would clip off that last tenth of a mile. At the age of 82, I guess this was as close to perfection as a guy could get. I can only hope to some day do as well.

Montana 9-1-1 Police Blotter

Women sing the blues

**********

Thursday, 10/1/2009, 5:57 p.m.
A woman screamed at a process server on Willow Glen Drive. The problem was solved when the man left the premises.

Thursday, 10/1/2009, 11:42 p.m.
A motorist on Highway 93 was alarmed to see a woman walking down the side of the highway. Although the woman claimed to be fine, the reporting party did not feel it was safe to walk so close to the road.

Thursday, 10/1/2009, 12:14 a.m.
A woman in Lakeside requested help in removing a male individual from her home, claiming that he was a "loser" and was highly intoxicated. Authorities encouraged the man to leave, after which the woman went to bed.

Thursday, 10/1/2009, 1:22 a.m.
A 23-year-old woman mistakenly thought that someone was trying to get into her Whitefish home. No individuals were found at the scene.

Leaving San Diego XLIII

Today was Sunday. We did not go to church, so I read my Bible while eating my breakfast of toast with spun honey and cinnamon, coffee, an apple and milk. Today's road trip would take us to Utica, home of Starved Rock State Park...a round-trip of 56 miles, according to Lee. We were traveling at our usual speed of 44 mph as we inched past all the rural houses. I was getting bored, but decided to pay attention to see if there was something new to be learned. I then began to notice the wide variety in mailbox posts. Most were ordinary 4x4 wooden posts with white paint. But then I noticed a "chain" standing on end. The links seemed to be of one-and-one-half-inch diameter iron, welded together. A giant hook on top reared its head like a cobra. The mailbox rested on top of the hook. It looked like the farmer was proud of his arc-welding skills and wanted to show off a little. I had no problem with that. I would have done the same thing. I then spotted another post with aluminum siding, resembling a grain elevator beside railroad tracks. Yet another looked like a fortified concrete bunker with brick and mortar construction. I thought it should support a large-caliber machine gun instead of a box for mail. No doubt its predecessor had been knocked over many times by an elderly neighbor who backed by the "touch-and-feel" system. Then another chain post, but of smaller link chain, welded together in a curvy "S" shape. It also seemingly defied common sense and gravity....... well, maybe just gravity.

Montana 9-1-1 Police Blotter

All drunks go to...church?

**********

Wednesday, 9/30/2009, 6:33 a.m.
Two intoxicated men caused a ruckus at a Columbia Falls trailer court.

Wednesday, 9/30/2009, 8:52 a.m.
Emergency medical personnel responded to reports of an unconscious female subject in a vehicle in a Columbia Falls convenience store. The woman was found to be highly intoxicated.

Wednesday, 9/30/2009, 1:17 p.m.
Although he seemed suspicious at the time, an individual at a local church was merely attempting to recover from extreme intoxication.

Wednesday, 9/30/2009, 3:59 p.m.
Someone noticed what appeared to be a human foot in a dumpster near an Evergreen supermarket. The remains turned out to be the remnants of a legal bear carcass.

Leaving San Diego XLII

We slowed and pulled into the Savannah Family Diner. It looked like your customary truck-stop/diner...nothing fancy. We walked across the gravel parking lot and into the off-white building that needed paint. The sign said to seat ourselves. I had the roast beef dinner, soup and salad...all surprisingly very good. Lee seemed to know his restaurants. Afterwards, we all climbed back into the Impala for the return-ride home. We traveled on back-roads so Lee could drive at his leisure. However, the wildlife seemed unaccustomed to having automobiles come this way. We passed two dead raccoons; one large (dead) brown dog (boxer?); two flattened red-wing blackbirds, and one furry thing of questionable origins. We frightened one young deer who had mistakenly ventured onto the blacktop. Lee slowed for the animal, saying a deer could really make a mess of the sheet metal. It sounded like the voice of experience. I made the mistake of mentioning my interest in the tall, three-prop wind turbines spinning in the corn fields. The blades were each at least 40-feet long. I have always been interested in wind-power, but also wanted to get back to the house before dark. We approached the towers from all possible directions...whether I wanted to or not. After 137.4 miles, we were back to where we began this morning. Lee mentioned it might have been a bit much of a drive for one day. We would not go as far tomorrow.

"Tomorrow?"

Montana 9-1-1 Police Blotter

Cat looks bad?...probably a dog's fault

**********

Tuesday, 9/29/2009, 9:54 a.m.
A man was walking his dog down Trails End Drive when a neighbor's dog leaped out and bit him. The offending pooch was impounded in the absence of its owner.

Tuesday, 9/29/2009, 3:05 p.m.
An individual working in the North Fork area came across two dogs that had been shot on a Forest Service road.

Tuesday, 9/29/2009, 3:47 p.m.
Someone in Columbia Falls reported that a neighbor's Doberman came onto his property, tore up his landscaping and "raped his Papillion."

Tuesday, 9/29/2009, 4:29 p.m.
Someone saw a cat that looked skinny and sickly in Evergreen.

Leaving San Diego XLI

As we rode in the car, Lee's monologue continued. "We brought our dog, Toby, to the vet here when he ...(unintelligible conversation)... had a terrible time getting the school bus up this hill here in the snow storm of '63 with the wheels... (unintelligible conversation)...good money in it if you can stand the hours." I politely agreed. We were entering "Georgia", Illinois, established in 1883. I was wondering why people would name a town after another state in the union? Or was it a woman? But before I could dwell on that too long, I noticed another sign that said Georgia was home to the John Deere Museum. I never knew there was one. The sign also mentioned that a blacksmith was on duty. He was probably needed to keep all those old tractors, combines and manure spreaders rolling. I was surprised at the small number of cars in the parking lot.

Montana 9-1-1 Police Blotter

Where there's smoke there's ....steam?

**********

Monday, 9/28/2009, 2:57 p.m.
A Columbia Falls resident called to report smoke in the area of a local lumber mill. The substance turned out to be steam from the boiler at the plant.

Monday, 9/28/2009, 3:48 p.m.
A missing four-year-old in Columbia Falls was found jumping on the neighbor's trampoline.

Monday, 9/28/2009, 5:13 p.m.
Smoke in an auto dealership on Reserve Drive turned out to be a result of a malfunctioning washer.

Monday, 9/28/2009, 2:18 a.m.
A resident of Mountain View Drive heard a loud noise near her home. Authorities could not locate the source of the noise.

Leaving San Diego XL

Lee was soft-spoken, and spoke in a low tone of voice like a parent reading a bed-time story to a child, hoping sleep would come before story's end. A rolling monologue transpired throughout the ride. "If you push this button, it shows you how far you can go on this tank of gas. If you push that other button, you can look at the oil pressure. And if you push this button here, you can tell if one of the tires is low on air." At the same time, information was coming to me from the back seat on how to work the heater and air-conditioning controls. "Push that round knob on the left if you want it to get colder in here; work that other knob if you want all the air to come out the top and turn the knob on the right if you want it to blow harder. It won't get cooler, but will just blow harder." I listened to both at the same time, but not that hard. I already knew about the dash controls, but had no intentions of messing with the temperature. I was just along for the ride. Lee's rolling commentary faded in and out as the volume fluctuated. It was like listening to a Watergate recording with interruptions from a noisy air conditioner. "Yeah, you see, this road goes on down and comes out by the VFW over...(unintelligible conversation)...and their grandkids should never have been allowed to do that in the first...(unintelligible conversation)...log came through the windshield and killed them both. It was a real tragedy." I nodded in agreement. We were approaching "Dixon", a place where, according to the road sign, President Ronald Reagan once lived. This was a nice, sunny Saturday and good time for a garage sale. I spotted in front yards a pump organ, wooden wheelchair, 8-track tape player and waterbed...among tons of other valuable merchandise. I was finding the ride to be rather enjoyable...as long as I kept my brain in neutral.

Montana 9-1-1 Police Blotter

Sure, blame us bears...what's wrong with the wolves?

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Friday, 9/25/2009, 11:54 a.m.
Someone stole several pillows and towels from a Eureka motel.

Friday, 9/25/2009, 6:37 p.m.
A sheet of wood obstructed highway 93.

Friday, 9/25/2009, 7:00 p.m.
Multiple individuals argued on Foothill Road.

Friday, 9/25/2009, 11:09 p.m.
What may have been a bear tipped over a garbage can on Big Mountain Road. Although the reporting party did not see the offender, the bags were split and garbage strewn about the yard.

Leaving San Diego XXXIX

Lee had driven a school bus for eight years and was indeed a careful driver. We never exceeded the posted speed limits, nor did we ever fully reach them. From time-to-time I would lean forward in my seat to catch a peek in the outside rear-view-mirror. I was curious how much of a logjam we had back there. They were usually lined up at least four-deep. But that was okay. We were operating on Lee-time. Everyone else could go on by as they pleased. Most did so in a rush. Once in a while, one would salute with a cry of exaltation. But that was okay too. Hopefully we would never lock eyes while reaching for the same package of hamburger at the local Safeway. Evidently, in Savannah, the main attraction was a 50-foot-tall concrete statue on the banks of the Rock River of an American Indian, built by the artist, "Mr. Todd" in 1910. According to the pamphlet, time was running late and the concrete pour needed to happen in mid-December. Kerosene heaters were run on the insides of the statue to help the concrete cure properly. It seemed to have worked. The Rock River was at flood stage and many picnic tables were half-submerged. Otherwise, all was peaceful on the river. As a passenger on this trip, I had time to observe all the front yards as we sojourned. But for the life of me, I could not figure the mind-set behind all the front-yard assemblages I observed. They were obviously working together on certain themes. One theme consisted of a rooster, billy goat and windmill set-up. Another was made up of concrete birdbath, plastic ducks and small sheep. Yet another was the tractor-tire-flower-bed; monkey on tricycle and puppets-with-movable-arms in a tree. Oddly enough, it happened over and over. It was as though space aliens had landed behind barns and invaded farmers' wives' brains while the farmers were out harvesting corn. I was excited to learn more.

Montana 9-1-1 Police Blotter

Any toilet paper out here?

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Friday, 9/25/2009, 8:54 a.m.

Someone on Elk Park Road noticed a suspicious figure wandering around the reporting party's house. Authorities contacted the stranger who explained that he was relieving himself in the woods after eating a dinner that upset his stomach.

Friday, 9/25/2009, 9:11 a.m.
A resident of Steels Drive in Columbia Falls reported that her 26-year-old daughter slapped her across the face. This was evidently an ongoing problem.

Friday, 9/25/2009, 3:06 p.m.
A resident of Labrant Road has been receiving hate mail for several years.

Friday, 9/25/2009, 4:45 p.m.
A man called to report that property awarded to him in a divorce was being withheld by his ex-wife.

Leaving San Diego XXXVIII

At the in-laws, I rose at 1:00 p.m. once I was finished with sleep. I had my usual breakfast of toast with spun honey and cinnamon, nonfat milk and coffee. We gathered at the car for the daily "ride." We were to ride to Savannah today. The car was a new, 2009, burgundy Chevy Impala. I was informed the car came to $9,000 after rebates, which was a real buy. Earlier, it had been used as a driver's-ed training car with 1,500 miles on the odometer. As soon as I was seated in the right, front passenger seat, I was immediately aware of the "Christmas tree" air freshener suspended from the rear-view mirror. The burgundy tree was labeled, "Spice." I suspected it was some sort of spice intended to disguise the stench of dead bodies after a nuclear holocaust. I was thankful for the miracle of "adaptation" where nasal neurons would soon stop firing after prolonged exposure to an offensive odor. Please stop firing. Once we were all buckled up, Lee carefully maneuvered the shift selector through each gear setting with the precision of a brain surgeon pointing out landmarks on a scalp before cutting...Park, Reverse, Neutral, Drive. With careful and deliberate intent, we were on our way. I was not sure how far we planned to go. Lee mentioned he wanted to "fill 'er up" before hitting the open road. I leaned over and noticed the fuel gauge was already at the three-quarter-full mark. The electronic fuel calculator indicated a fuel range of 458 miles. Would we be crossing state lines today?

Montana 9-1-1 Police Blotter

Come to Montana. We have an ex-husband removal service.

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Thursday, 9/24/2009, 7:40 a.m.
Someone on Cottonwood Drive reported seeing a man in black clothing run away from a nearby residence.

Thursday, 9/24/2009, 3:41 p.m.
A driver on Highway 93 became irate when another motorist was moving too slowly in the left lane.

Thursday, 9/24/2009, 4:34 p.m.
A resident of Karrow Drive in Whitefish requested assistance in removing her ex-husband from her home.

Thursday, 9/24/2009, 9:12 p.m.
A cow bellowed continually for four hours in Bigfork. The caller evidently found this suspicious.

Leaving San Diego XXXVII

On the wall above my bed hung a 40"x20" photo of a woodsy scene titled, "Summer's End." The frame was made of ornate plaster with gold and black paint. On the next wall hung a 16"x20" scene of a teddy bear and doll in a toy shop...all woven with colored yarn. This whole room was painted a light shade of pink. Over the desk hung a calendar with a photo of a blue, 1970 Pontiac GTO; old photos of grand kids, and newspaper clippings celebrating the grand opening of the new city incinerator on April 5th and lighting of the Mendota "burn pit." Next was tacked a notice of "free" membership to AARP. Then there were four, 10"x30" knitted yarn scenes of country meadows with wooden frames. Above a dark brown wooden chest hung an old 10"x16" baby photo in a frame that had the oval bubble glass. On each side of that photo hung a framed letter from a past wife with photo. High on a shelf in the pink room sat 27 teddy bears of various sizes. Below that hung two store-bought woods scenes in cheap, golden frames. A wire "thread rack" was suspended between the frames, holding 12 spools of colored thread. Below those sat the sewing machine. I could tell this room had sat exactly this way for many years. Everything was in its place and not allowed to move. Except for the sewing machine, that is. I pulled it out to plug my laptop into an outlet on the pink wall. There was great concern I would forget to move the sewing machine back and no one around with enough strength for the task. I scooted it over with one foot before we left.

Montana 9-1-1 Police Blotter

See what animals must do to join a gang?

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Wednesday, 9/23/2009, 9:04 a.m.
A loose Chihuahua was seen dodging cars on Woodland Drive.

Wednesday, 9/23/2009, 10:33 a.m.
Fish and Game contained a muskrat running wild on the Justice Center lawn.

Wednesday, 9/23/2009, 12:28 p.m.
A resident of Lore Lake road called to report a neighbor's dog came onto his property and killed the reporting party's dog. The neighbor received a citation.

Wednesday, 9/23/2009, 8:38 p.m.
A vehicle collided with a bear in Somers. The bear was not killed and quickly fled the scene.

Leaving San Diego XXXVI

My wife's mom and step-dad were sitting in their padded chairs when we arrived in Mendota, Ill. They took good care of us while there. We all decided to go to I-hop for dinner. I ordered the turkey cheeseburger with onion rings and Diet Coke, followed by coffee with creamer. My meal mistakenly came with "french fries" instead of onion rings. I did not notice. But my observant mother-in-law did notice and notified the waitress. So I had free fries with my meal. The onion rings came later. It rained hard as we ate, but let up enough so we could stay dry while getting to the car. I drove, but was careful to stay below all speed limits and came to a complete stop at all stop signs. That is important for older folks....(older than me). Their house reminded me of the Three Bears cottage....just the right size for them. I was placed in the lone spare bedroom with double bed. My wife slept on the couch. There were long discussions about medicines. The channel nine news was the evening focus on TV, shortly before bedtime...at 9:30 p.m. The volume was turned up extremely loud. I was in another world that I might find myself in some day. I was wondering what there would be to do? We were to take a "drive" tomorrow. I was about to discover the secret world of old folks who still carried valid driver's licenses.

Montana 9-1-1 Police Blotter

Okay, who electrocuted the cat?

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Monday, 9/21/2009, 12:41 a.m.
Someone noticed a man in a brown jacket pushing a stroller down highway 93. Authorities attempted to perform a welfare check but could not locate him.

Monday, 9/21/2009, 11:22 a.m.
After a night of partying at a local bar, a man was driven home in his own truck by another individual. The driver then apparently wrecked the vehicle and stole the reporting party's motorbike from the back of the truck.

Monday, 9/21/2009, 12:24 p.m.
Neighbors quarreled over a dog issue at a local trailer park.

Monday, 9/21/2009, 5:26 p.m.
A cat died of suspicious injuries at a local veterinary clinic. The creature reportedly suffered from neurological problems.

Leaving San Diego XXXV

It was very hot and muggy in Schaumburg, a western suburb of Chicago. Becky told us to make ourselves at home. Our plan was to stay overnight, then drive to my wife's parents house in Mendota, Ill. But there were thunderstorms with tornado warnings. We decided to wait until the storm had passed through. I stood on the porch with my camera poised, hoping to catch a thunderbolt hitting nearby. The odds were remote, but you never know? I noticed the gutters were plugged with water gushing over the tops. One gutter had baby maple trees growing in the top. I saw a job I could do. No one wants to clean gutters. I like to see the water gushing out the pipe...as it should. I wanted a cup of coffee, but could not find the filters. So I tore a paper towel until it fit the coffee grounds basket. The coffee took longer to drip, but it worked. When searching the kitchen cabinets for the filters, I noticed two shelves that were about to collapse...something else for me to do. I removed the plates and bowls from that shelf and installed the shelf supports the way nature intended. I like fixing these little things in someone's house when visiting. We searched the computer room for the tortoise. I couldn't believe it had managed to get inside the closet and behind some shoes. Watching the tortoise move was painful for me. Everything was in slow motion. I hoped I would not step on it when going to the bathroom in the night...another experience in slow motion.

Montana 9-1-1 Police Blotter

What's that Rex?...Two robbers behind the maple tree?

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Friday, 9/18/2009, 2:05 p.m.
Gunshots rang out in the Happy Valley area, along with the sounds of angry yelling and screaming. Authorities responded but could not locate the source of the noise.

Friday, 9/18/2009, 8:31 p.m.
A patron of a local bar pulled a gun on the bartender when he was asked to leave, and was escorted to his car. Deputies found the man at his residence and escorted him to jail.

Friday, 9/18/2009, 10:16 p.m.
A sixteen-year-old girl was seen hitchhiking along Highway 2.

Friday, 9/18/2009, 11:59 p.m.
Someone on Sharon Road called to report that the family dog was barking and evidently only barked when strangers were about. Authorities investigated and found no intruders on the property.

Leaving San Diego XXXIV

We switched planes in Salt Lake City. Once inside the terminal, we walked 30 feet and directly onto our next plane which was boarding just then. My air travel had never gone so well. On the ground at O'Hare, we had made arrangements for a cab. On the way to my wife's sister's house, my wife learned that our driver was from Pakistan, had two daughters (14 and 8) and had family still back in Pakistan. My wife's sister and her husband were on vacation but had given us the keypad code to open the garage door. My instructions were to push each button firmly and slowly. And if it didn't work the first time to keep trying. I don't know what sort of problems it sometimes caused, but it worked for me on the first try. I think the code had something to do with the kids' birthdays? We met their next-door-neighbor who was out front mowing his lawn. Our only instructions were to not step on the tortoise in the family room. Tortoise? They definitely said tortoise and not turtle.

Montana 9-1-1 Police Blogger

Come to Montana and discover your secret admirer.

**********

Friday, 9/18/2009, 9:01 a.m.
A woman sitting in her car at an Evergreen school was emotionally shaken when a female subject struck the window with her hand. No damage was done to the vehicle.

Friday, 9/18/2009, 5:28 p.m.
Reports of a neglected horse on Batavia Lane proved unfounded when the responding officer arrived to find the horse eating hay.

Friday, 9/18/2009, 9:27 p.m.
A mother caught her 14-year-old daughter sniffing gas, after which the girl began to behave erratically.

Friday, 9/18/2009, 9:54 p.m.
A customer at an Evergreen supermarket received a note that read, "I saw you last night. I really enjoy watching you."

Leaving San Diego XXXIII

My wife was seated two rows in front of me on the plane. Evidently, there was a problem. In front of me was seated a mother and new baby, but the mother had the flu and the gentleman next to her wanted a new seat. My wife turned around and quickly offered her seat so she could help the poor gal with the baby. The mother was ecstatic over the offer. My wife learned the mother's name was Wendy S. and had several children, all of whom were adopted. She had just picked up this new infant and was on her way home. Her original flight had been canceled due to mechanical problems, and now she had come down with the flu. At least we were in first class. My wife had fun playing with the baby. I noticed the mother was able to sleep. Wendy has since kept in touch with my wife and considers my wife to be her guardian angel. As for me, I was tired and just slept.

Montana 9-1-1 Police Blogger

The Moose's name was Harry. He leaves behind a wife and no children.

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Thursday, 9/17/2009, 11:19 a.m.
A woman in Martin City became worried when she had not heard from her husband in quite some time. Authorities contacted the individual, who was perfectly fine.

Thursday, 9/17/2009, 3:46 p.m.
A vehicle hit a moose on Highway 2 near Glacier Park. No individuals were hurt in the crash.

Thursday, 9/17/2009, 6:04 p.m.
A woman in Bigfork was frightened when an unfamiliar man called her on the telephone. The strange caller evidently knew her first name.

Thursday, 9/17/2009, 8:59 p.m.
A resident of Woodland Drive arrived home to find a strange white van parked in their yard. It was later found that the van had simply broken down at that location.

Leaving San Diego XXXII

I had made arrangements for a wake-up call, so we were up on time. A hotel shuttle-van took us across Harbor Drive to the airport. When going through security, they pulled my bag and asked permission to look inside. I was not worried and had nothing to hide. But then he pulled my favorite pocketknife from the left, front pocket of my jeans! I had no idea I had missed that. This was the second time I had done this and was ready to kick myself. I reluctantly gave it up. If Lewis and Clark had to go through all this sort of grief, they would have given up back in Hill Valley, Ohio. We decided to use our free food vouchers for breakfast there in the airport. We had three vouchers for breakfast, at $7.00 each. A Burger King was available inside the terminal. We ordered the Big Breakfast and Deluxe Breakfast with coffee, which came to $8.43. We did not want to lose any of our free food-money, so we also ordered food for lunch. I wanted the turkey club sandwich, while my wife ordered the fruit cup. All of that came to $14.13. That took care of the vouchers, with $1.56 out-of-pocket...just right. Once again, my wife had worked it out perfectly. The food was over-priced, but when free, who cares?

Montana 9-1-1 Police Blotter

Calling all units: Officer stuck in door.

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Thursday, 9/17/2009, 4:14 a.m.
A resident on Martin City called to report that a man was sleeping in her attic. Authorities arrived to find the attic empty.

Thursday, 9/17/2009, 12:38 p.m.
Someone heard children screaming in an apartment on East Idaho Street. Although a mother and her children were indeed yelling at one another, the argument was verbal only and all was well.

Thursday, 9/17/2009, 2:06 p.m.
Reports of a "man down" in Whitefish turned out to be a case of a simple leg cramp.

Thursday, 9/17/2009, 2:42 p.m.
An officer shut her finger in a door at the Flathead County Detention Center.

Leaving San Diego XXXI

While being transported to the Kona Kai Hotel, we went past one of our favorite haunts...Boll Weevil's restaurant. We decided to walk...only 1.5 miles. The walk by the bay was nice. I had my usual mushroom burger basket with onion rings. She had a regular hamburger. After returning to the hotel, I discovered I had left my sunglasses at the restaurant. I was willing to give them up since I did not want to walk all the way back. My wife hated the thought of losing the sunglasses, even if they were not her own. She offered to arrange for a hotel shuttle and look for the glasses if I would rub her feet. She wanted to do it, so I agreed. And she did indeed return with my sunglasses. I had her lay on the bed as I rubbed those narrow, size 8 feet with the high arches. I knew them well. Her whole body seemed to relax as I began squeezing. I knew to be careful around the big toes. Those joints were always sore, as were her thumbs. I never could figure the connection, and tried to not dwell on it too much. While rubbing feet, I daydreamed I was flying a jet fighter, pulling back on the stick to avoid a high mountain. She yelled in pain when I forgot and pulled on her left big toe, narrowly missing a jagged mountain peak. I moved to the heel as I limped my damaged aircraft back to the airstrip.

Montana 9-1-1 Police Blogger

Not much happened today...just some spilled gravel.

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Wednesday, 9/16/2009, 9:21 a.m.
A resident of Eckelberry Drive believed to have seen someone with a flashlight in a neighbor's house. There was in fact no one in the residence.

Wednesday, 9/16/2009, 12:45 p.m.
Someone found it suspicious that an unfamiliar car was parked outside their Martin City residence. The vehicle was gone when authorities arrived.

Wednesday, 9/16/2009, 1:21 p.m.
Gravel fell from a dump truck while traveling westbound along Highway 2 in Evergreen.

Wednesday, 9/16/2009, 3:49 p.m.
A resident of Browns Meadow Road started to worry when her 75-year-old grandmother was gone shopping for an unusual amount of time. The reporting party later called back to report she had returned home safe and sound.

Leaving San Diego XXX

We fly to Chicago O'Hare today. I am always nervous on the day of a flight. They don't hold jets back just because I couldn't decide which shirt to wear today. We rose early to get checked out of Horizon Hotel...our last hotel-home. Hotels are fun, but I get tired of all the moving...and spending money. Our renters offered to let us leave our car in the garage while gone to the Midwest for two weeks. That was nice of them. I dropped my wife off at the airport with plenty of time to spare. I then took the car to the house. I collected our latest mail and began hoofing my way back to the airport. Any more, I always run or walk to the airport...only three miles. A cab would easily eat up twenty dollars with fare and tip. I will accept part of the blame for the mess our economy is in since I am not helping it any. But hey, money is money. I connected with my wife in the airport lobby as planned. Once through security, we learned our flight might be full. We were not in any hurry, so my wife volunteered us for a bump. Sure enough, the flight was indeed overbooked. We were offered a night's stay at Kona Kia Hotel, free flight vouchers for the future and first-class seats on tomorrow's flight. I had gone to great lengths to get here early, but I could settle for this. I guess we stay here one more day.

Montana 9-1-1 Police Blotter

Mother-in-law turn her nose up? See how family squabbles are handled in Montana.

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Monday, 9/14/2009, 5:20 a.m.
Boulders were strewn about on Harmony Road.

Monday, 9/14/2009, 12:14 p.m.
Someone called to report the wires had been cut on the family computer. Come to find out, the parents had done the damage in order to revoke a 15-year-old son's computer privileges.

Monday, 9/14/2009, 2:47 p.m.
A suspected counterfeit $50 bill turned out to be real currency.

Monday, 9/14/2009, 4:04 p.m.
A resident of Wendt Way called to report that her neighbor, who is also her mother-in-law, tried to run her off the road.

Leaving San Diego XXIX

We rose at 7:00 a.m. at Horizon Hotel and searched for the complimentary breakfast room. I could not find it, but my wife seemed to know instinctively...a red door with the words, "breakfast room!" Had I been by myself, I would most likely have starved. The food was good. I had a toasted bagel with grape jelly, orange juice, milk and coffee. We sat and discussed our plans for our final day in San Diego before flying to Chicago and Michigan to visit with family. My coffee was so bad I poured it out...tasted like old Maxwell House instant I used to keep in the cupboard over the oven. Our red, plastic patio table rocked badly, until I reached down and turned the leveling adjuster. I once learned that I didn't have to accept things as they were, that I could change things. Some people never do get that one. Back in our room, I tried making coffee using the room-coffee. But no matter how hard I tried, I could not rip apart the kevlar coffee bag. Out of frustration, I grabbed my silver, Cross ball point pen and violently stabbed the thing. And it worked! Maybe I was the last to learn this trick, but stabbing it with a pen was the thing to do. And the coffee was actually pretty good. I was surprised. We were almost at the end of our two week adventure before leaving San Diego.

Montana 9-1-1 Police Blogger

Welcome to Montana, where pickup trucks are used for dating....and cage fights.

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Friday, 9/11/2009, 8:43 a.m.
A transient individual was found sleeping in the ditch behind a Lakeside hardware store. The drowsy individual was woken and encouraged to move along.

Friday, 9/11/2009, 11:07 a.m.
A resident of Stoner Creek Road claimed that a neighbor "got in his face" and accused him of spreading rumors. Both parties were duly counseled.

Friday, 9/11/2009, 7:06 p.m.
A female subject in a pickup truck near McWinnegar Slough was observed violently kicking inside the vehicle. It is unknown whether anyone else was with her in the truck.

Friday, 9/11/2009, 11:55 p.m.
A resident of East Oregon Street looked out her bedroom window and saw three male subjects on the railroad tracks.

Leaving San Diego XXVIII

After church and lunch, we headed for our next stay at Horizon Hotel. On a Friar's road street corner, I saw a homeless guy who seemed to be new at this. He wore a hooded sweatshirt with the top pulled over his head in an apparent attempt to not be recognized. He held a cardboard sign that read, "So broke it hurts", which I thought was pretty lame. The pros usually said something about not wanting to lie and needing a beer, and always ending with, "God bless." I had already removed the stuff I wanted from my choral gift bag, so I pulled over and yelled to the guy. He came running, and seemed genuinely happy for the bag. I took off before he had time to get a good look at the contents. The only non-smoking room available at Horizon Hotel was a handicapped room. The only real difference from a regular room was no tub. The bathroom and shower stall were all on the same level so a handicapped person could roll their chair into the shower stall and do their thing. The only problem for us was the water that would run across the bathroom floor. But this was much nicer than camping. I rolled up a towel and made a dam to keep the gray water in check.

Montana 9-1-1 Police Blogger

Welcome to Montana. But if you speak a foreign language, don't write things down. We don't like it.

**********

Friday, 9-11-2009, 12:03 p.m.
A woman in Lakeside claimed she was standing by her fence when a driver skidded by and made verbal threats to her well-being.

Friday, 9-11-2009, 2:01 p.m.
Someone on Smokey Bear Lane encountered an individual in a vehicle who spoke a foreign language and was writing things down. The individual sped off when the reporting party approached.

Friday, 9-11-2009, 3:34 p.m.
A vehicle was seen to be trailing bits of trash as it drove down highway 35. The offending vehicle was stopped and the load secured.

Friday, 9-11-2009, 6:42 p.m.
Someone on Wagner Lane heard screams and a gunshot at a nearby residence. It was later discovered that the shot was fired to scare a dog who had killed the neighbor's kitten. The dog had bitten a child on a previous occasion and was taken to the shelter.

Leaving San Diego XXVII

The Blood Mobile was in the church parking lot this morning. I guess a church was the right place to find people willing to help others. I suspect my tenor-friend, Mark T. rushed back a bit too quickly after donating his pint. While in the middle of "How Great A Foundation", his eyes rolled back into his head and he was down for the count. I hope the congregation was not overly frightened with the sight of Don H. hoisting M's legs to his chest for improved blood circulation. I wondered if our departure was causing a disturbance in the space-time continuum? In the library, I learned more valuable, useless information. In Kansas, did you know it was against the law to fish with your bare hands? I suspected the governor's brother-in-law owned a chain of sporting goods stores that sold fishing poles. It was time for lunch...at Burger King this time. We had coupons and purchased two Whoppers for the price of one. My wife only wanted half of hers, so of course, I ate the remainder. I think I ate enough. Or did I have too much? Lets see....one whopper with fries tips the scales at 1,720 calories. Yeah, it was too much. I had some running to do and hoped my Sauconys were not buried too deeply in the trunk.

Montana 9-1-1 Police Blotter

Thursday, 9/10/2009, 4:52 p.m.
Someone shot a propane tank on Hoffman Drive.

Thursday, 9/10/2009, 7:57 p.m.
A vehicle collided with a building on highway 35 in Kalispell. Evergreen Ambulance responded.

Thursday, 9/10/2009, 8:04 p.m.
An employee at a Columbia Falls store felt that a customer may have been "casing the place."

Thursday, 9/10/2009, 12:18 a.m.
A deceased black bear blocked a road in Lakeside.

Leaving San Diego XXVI

We left the tent in time for breakfast at McDonald's before church. I had my customary Big Mac meal, but with milk instead of a soft drink. The coffee was good, as has been the case at McDonald's lately. Most of our church-friends knew this would be our last Sunday before leaving for Montana. We had many to say our goodbye's to. My choir friends surprised me with a couple of goody-bags filled with treats to take on our trip (thanks, Julie M.). I saw trail mix, bananas, beef jerky, Gatorade, breakfast bars, soy bars, apples, raisins and several beverage containers imprinted with a language I did not recognize. I suspected a few pantries had been cleared. I am certain my friend, Tim F. cleared several shelves. But this was what best friends did. I hated to leave all my friends, but this was the thing to do just now. We returned to break camp. I rolled the tent as tightly as I could since we were the first to use it. I sat on it as I rolled, pretending I was rolling my bicycle tire over a black, citrus beetle on a sidewalk. We wanted to return it to my wife's co-teacher, Peggy F. the same way she had given it to us. We had no more use for the brown and orange mattress or coffee-stained couch cushions. They would go into the camp dumpster on our way out. It was time to hit the library. I located my favorite book once more on useless information. Some day I must buy this book:

"Mr. Coronado, the first European explorer to venture through the Midwest, was so disappointed with the area of what is now Wichita, Kansas that he had his guide strangled." I've been through Wichita and I don't blame him. We will stay here (and read) until time to check in to our next hotel.

Montana 9-1-1 Police Blogger

Thursday, 9/10/2009, 12:06 p.m.
A patron of the Olney post office reportedly found a book of matches, all of which were lit at the time of the report.

Thursday, 9/10/2009, 4:20 p.m.
Someone on Creekside Drive reported that a neighbor habitually sprayed her children with a garden hose as they rode their bikes down the street.

Thursday, 9/10/2009, 5:06 p.m.
A cow stuck in a fence on Creekside Drive extricated itself without assistance.

Thursday, 9/10/2009, 5:27 p.m.
A resident of Harmony Road became suspicious when a lady came to the door bearing foreclosure information. The woman and her information turned out to be completely legitimate.

Leaving San Diego XXV

Back home (tent), it was time to head out to what would be my last night in the hospital ER. My replacement, Donja, was a fast learner and doing a great job. I had been showing her everything I knew. The lone trauma for the night had a severe wound to the top of his left arm. The burly Mexican gentleman had a neat, 10-inch oval of skin torn from that arm. It looked like someone had rolled a car tire on top of his arm and peeled-out. It was bad, with tendons and muscles all exposed. He would require immediate surgery. As usual, the police were there. The patient answered all the questions properly, except for how the accident had happened. He said he did not remember. I walked the corridors one last time, making sure each patient's needs were being met. Donja then presented me with a neat surprise. She had secretly circulated a card to all the doctors and nurses. They all had signed their names and made nice comments to me concerning my work over the past ten years. That was really nice of her. Before meeting her, I was concerned about the quality of my replacement? My worries were unfounded. Donja was a class act.

Back at the tent, I crawled in for the final time...getting the nylon material stuck in the zipper only once.

Montana 9-1-1 Police Blogger

Wednesday, 9/9/2009, 7:24 a.m.
Residents of Ridgewood Drive were alarmed to hear what seemed to be shouting and gunshots in the area. Authorities arrived to find that a man at the residence was not harming others but rather had lost his temper while fixing the dryer.

Wednesday, 9/9/2009, 9:47 a.m.
What was thought to be a theft of a vehicle turned out to be a case of civil repossession at the Kalispell airport.

Wednesday, 9/9/2009, 12:05 p.m.
A horse was repossessed on Seville Lane in Coram.

Wednesday, 9/9/2009, 3:42 p.m.
Two sisters, age 14 and 25, argued on Willow Glen Drive.

Leaving San Diego XXIV

It was Saturday morning and I had slept well in the tent after rising only once for the restroom...which was still a huge pain. It was 11:00 a.m. with the sun beating down on the side of the tent making things quite uncomfortable. My wife prepared sandwiches on the back seat of the Buick. Still in the tent, I felt like a lion in the San Diego Zoo as she tossed to me a roast beef sandwich with Miracle Whip, onion and salt (in sandwich bag). I growled and chomped into my lunch...like any good lion. We left camp for an afternoon at the library where we read educational material. I continued to be fascinated with the book of useless information.

"The cells lining the small colon were replaced daily."

I figured that was a good thing after a trip down one of the aisles at Costco...German sausage with Tabasco sauce; catfish with pretzels; sweet potato on lettuce and beets on a stick. My wife said she had not slept well, with bad dreams. The car was wrecked, as was my bike on its carrier mounted on the back of the car (which it is). One of her students was swinging the bike chain in a dangerous fashion. I was not sure what to make of it, but none of it sounded good for me. Maybe it was time to give Costco a break?

Montana 9-1-1 Police Blotter

Tuesday, 9/8/2009, 2:08 a.m.
A 14-year-old girl became frightened when the family dogs looked out the window and began to growl. No intruders were found on the scene.

Tuesday, 9/8/2009, 10:09 a.m.
A black calf ran amok in Creston.

Tuesday, 9/8/2009, 11:39 a.m.
Someone claimed to have found an open suitcase full of old clothes on Hubbard Dam road. The supposed unclaimed luggage turned out to be a pile of trash.

Tuesday, 9/8/2009, 2:00 p.m.
A mama bear and her two cubs exhibited normal bear behavior near the mailboxes on Lone Pine Road.

Leaving San Diego XXIII

This was Friday, and we would be camping again tonight. I still do not see what is so attractive about camping...with the mud and mosquitoes? Someone usually had loud music playing somewhere. Once settled into our tent, I had my corn chips, but had forgotten the cheese dip...which was in the cooler on the back seat of the car. Getting back up was such a huge hassle...getting my shoes on; finding the car keys and unzipping the tent without getting tent material caught in the zipper. My wife said she would get the dip if I rubbed her feet in return. I figured I could do that. After eating my fill of chips and dip, I reclined and rubbed feet that were near my head. I daydreamed of crawling underneath barbed wire through enemy lines with bullets zipping overhead. I suddenly passed gas. I hoped my wife would not notice. Unfortunately, it was very bad. She let out a loud groan. I reminded her of the clause in our marriage contract...the, "for better or worse" part. She said she had not signed up for this. I insisted I was within my rights. I am reminded of a story from her sister, Becky T. She was working with first-graders on their first day of school. At noon, one boy began pulling on his jacket to go home. She stopped him and reminded him he was no longer in pre-school, but was now in first grade where he would be spending all day at school. He responded, "Who the h___ signed me up for this?"

Montana 9-1-1 Police Blogger

Friday, 9/4/2009, 8:26 a.m.
An inmate at the Flathead County Juvenile Detention Center scratched his initials into a tabletop, along with the initials of a female friend.

Friday, 9/4/2009, 4:40 p.m.
Someone on Helena Flats Road reported that an unfamiliar individual was sitting in his car at approximately 7:15 a.m. The suspicious individual was actually a surveyor performing his duties.

Friday, 9/4/2009, 5:55 p.m.
An individual babysitting a 15-month-old child called to report their ward had wandered off and could not be found. The child's parents found the child wandering down Jellison Road.

Friday, 9/4/2009, 6:22 p.m.
A 14-year-old subject threatened to run away from her Pheasant Drive home.

Leaving San Diego XXII

We needed to be out of the hotel by noon, so we broke camp once more. I drove my wife to work and returned. After emptying our room, I went to the very back and pretended I was a policeman, clearing the bad guys from a building. After checking every square inch of the bathroom for razors, toothbrushes and jewelry, I yelled out, "Clear!" I went through this same procedure at each stop. I caught a half-carton of blueberries trying to make its escape by blending in with a fold of the gold and yellow flowered bedspread. He was not going to get by me that easily. Once cleared from the room, I headed for the beach below the PLNU campus. I wanted to photograph one more earthquake fault down there. I noticed a fresh landslide from the cliff face. On my way out, I stopped at Peete's Coffee shop for coffee and roll. I ran into an old friend, Leon K. We shared our lives and all the kids had been up to. It was good to see an old friend before leaving what had been home for many years. I was struck by how time affects us all...just like the cliffs down on the beach.

Montana 9-1-1 Police Blogger

Friday, 9/4/2009, 10:23 a.m.
A single horse in a Black Tallpine Ridge pasture appeared to be unusually thin and walked with a limp. Authorities will be investigating the claim.

Friday, 9/4/2009, 11:26 a.m.
Someone on Hodgson road has been receiving numerous threatening phone calls from an unknown individual. The caller does not speak, but a revving engine can be heard in the background.

Friday, 9/4/2009, 4:48 p.m.
A three-year-old child was seen wandering aimlessly down highway 93. Although the father was nearby, he was clearly not attending to the child's safety.

Leaving San Diego XXI

Back at our home for the moment, we showered and got comfortable. This was an extended-stay hotel, but we were only staying for one night. Our room was equipped with microwave, stove, pots and pans and dinnerware. I thought it was all very nice for a rating of only two stars. I gave it a "2.9." While reclining on the bed, my wife noticed I had some unsightly hairs protruding from my nostrils. I did not want to search for scissors in the suitcase and began yanking them out with my fingernails. My eyes started to water and I began sneezing...but I was getting them. For some odd reason, this sight seemed to bother my wife, who offered to find the scissors for me. She eventually found them in the bottom of the red suitcase. I held very still as she trimmed the offending hairs. I guess this was the best part of marriage...having a monitor to make sure I was suitable for the general public (although I thought I was doing an okay job). After her shower, I dried her hair, as I have done for many years. She was beautiful once again. As for me, adequate, I guess. She trims hairs from my nose while I dry the ones on top of her head...a match made in heaven.

Montana 9-1-1 Police Blogger

Thursday, 9/3/2009, 9:21 a.m.
A female subject approached a home on Sunrise Door and offered to clean the resident's carpet. The individual also offered gifts to the reporting party.

Thursday, 9/3/2009, 4:56 p.m.
Someone spotted a dog in an enclosed vehicle at an Evergreen box store. Authorities investigated and discovered the dog actually did have access to air.

Thursday, 9/3/2009, 5:55 p.m.
Someone on Gray Lane claimed they were harassed by their 12-year-old neighbor. The youth apparently did not appreciate it when the reporting party's dog ran wild.

Thursday, 9/3/2009, 10:13 p.m.
A quarrel between a man and a woman dissolved into violence when the male party threw a rock through the woman's window. She then left the premises, after which the man threw two more rocks. Authorities found the male subject lying in the weeds near by.

Leaving San Diego XX

At Tecolote Park, I played ping-pong and pool with my wife's special-ed students. They really wore me out with chasing ping-pong balls...and billiard balls. I placed my bike on our bike carrier and rode back to the classroom with them. My wife needed to pick up her reading glasses from being repaired in Chula Vista. And whenever we go there, we must always eat dinner at the BBQ Pit, just around the corner. We love their BBQ. The BBQ Pit reminded me of the earthquake faults I had just photographed. The main dining section looked like it had been sitting there for at least 50,000,000 years. I thought I detected signs of remodeling, so maybe the remainder was only 50,000 years old? The silverware was primitive...thin forks with tines bent in many directions like spiked hair on a windy day. The old Black gentleman with white apron, carving the beef, looked like he might have just emerged from a cave out back. But the food was great once again. I had the BBQ beef dinner with baked beans, mashed potatoes and cole slaw, followed by a piece of pecan pie, with Diet Pepsi to drink. I cannot imagine what dinosaur meat might taste like, but I was pretty sure I was eating cow.